I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize