The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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