I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
