he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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