i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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