Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize