I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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