It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize