Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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