You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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