1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
