my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
