We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
