i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize