We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
