I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I would ride that face into the sunset
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
