First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
