Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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