my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
