Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
