So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Couch. On fire.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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