dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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