You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
