we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
