If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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