My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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