Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
