Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
