How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize