On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
