I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
