It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
