is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
