He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
