Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize