is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
