Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
