I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
