we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How does one acquire holy water?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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