Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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