It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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