its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
