I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize