guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
