I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
