He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
