Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
