They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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