Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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