Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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