why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize