What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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