she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize