I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
