Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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