Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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