he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
