If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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