I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
