I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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