Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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