I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All the doctor said was why
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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