he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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