I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just google imaged poop.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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