I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
