two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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