hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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