Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I need a burrito and a hug.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
