didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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