i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
