Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
