Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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