If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
