Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
