carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's rum buckets o'clock
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
