and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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