how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
