Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
