she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
