I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
