home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
