noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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