I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
